GAME TALK: THIS BLOG IS NOW ONLY ABOUT MARIO AND DEPRESSION

About ten minutes ago, I came up with the title above, and ran over to Google to Image Search some Deviantart representations of depressed Mario. Unbeknownst to me, this pairing of topics has been thoroughly explored by the internet. Why did I think that might not be the case? This is a Mickey Mouse-level marketing entity that's based on self-medication in a fantasy world where you're saving princesses and jumping on turtles, and so much of the fanbase is 35 year old gross balding bitter feckless--

What ground am I breaking by connecting these dots? None. Nothing. I've spent the last half-hour at this point looking at lovingly-created depictions of doughy Italian men in the loneliest, darkest moments of their lives, living out all manners of horror and depravity, and I'm still happier than if I had spent the same amount of time reading about Microsoft's E3 press conference.

I'm beyond glad that we're being treated to more footage of Sunset Overdrive gameplay, but what good does that do a worthless dirtbag with no hope of ever affording a piece of computer equipment ever again for the rest of

HEY GUYS! I just drank some really strong COFFEE! Let's look at some funny depressing Mario pictures!

The world of Mario and Sonic fanart is so thoroughly mined by so many great minds. I'll never write a blog post as meaningful or informative as some of the ones I've seen on the subject. Who could ever love such a monster? How do I show my face in public, knowing how little I have to say about the world of Tumblr and Deviantart? What am I supposed to do? How do I proceed?

I've been playing a little Uncharted recently, on the PS3. That game is kind of cool. I like the idea of a game that's like "What if there was a DUDE Lara Croft?" I'm so down with bold new ideas like that. I'm so down with life. Down with life.

I can't believe they delayed the cancellation of The Last Guardian AGAIN. What do you think is up with that? I certainly don't know.

I really think it's just that Mario has a funny face and it's funny to see him sad. I know what that's like. Let's talk more about this later.