Video Game Conference Happening

I heard from my friend Craig that there's some video game conference happening in LA this week. He says that  people in the "industry" (if you can even call it that. I've been turned down by like two companies for Game Designer jobs) come and set up booths and talk to each other about what is happening and what is going to happen in regards to video games and video game related products. As far as I know, Mtn DEW didn't have a Game Fuel booth there this year, so I really don't know how relevant it could be.

In seemingly unrelated news, I just noticed about twenty thousand videos posted to my Youtube feed list.

Sleeping Dogs

Unlike a bunch of idiots whose Twitter feeds I read voraciously, I know the difference between this game and another game called Watch Dogs. The difference is this game will come out within the next decade. Sleeping Dogs used to be called Driver: True Crime Hong Kong, but then it was purchased by Square-Enix and they took out all of the driving, Crime and Truth. In this game you play as some type of gangster who must either rise through the ranks of something or get revenge for something and along the way you meet a bunch of uptight people who take life way too seriously.

Transit of Venus

This is a once-in-a-lifetime game where you play as a small planet that must flee across the face of the sun from the Nazis. This game sucks though because if you didn't play it last night you can't play it again until the twenty-second century.

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Finally, a game that make sense! In this game, you play as an asexual waif named Raiden who is obsessed with politics and refuses to stop playing Fruit Ninja with the world's supply of henchmen and machinery until there's some type of filibuster reform and maybe some Climate Change bill. There's some really graphic business man slaughter in this trailer so before you watch it you should probably make sure no one's around to hear you laughing maniacally. This game can only be a work of genius, because if it's not then it's just complete gibberish and I don't think I can handle that.

Medal of Honor: Warfighter

I don't think there's any commentary necessary. What could be more revealing than this trailer featuring music from the hit band Linkin Park in 2012? And could that title be any more of a slap in the face? 

ATTENTION LUNKHEADS: IF YOU CAN WATCH THE ABOVE VIDEO AND FIND IT RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS, THEN THE ONLY "WARFIGHTER" IS YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE POOR, UNEDUCATED, HAVE ABHORRENT MUSICAL TASTE AND YOUR ONLY CHOICE IN LIFE WILL BE TO JOIN A BLOATED, CREAKY MILITARY AND FIGHT UNNECESSARY WARS WHERE YOU'RE MORE LIKELY TO DIE BY SUICIDE THAN ENEMY FIRE. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, I KNOW THIS IS A JOKE BLOG BUT YOU ARE BEING BRAINWASHED BY

Disregard previous. Yo, I heard there were boobs in the Ubisoft press conference. NICE!